What a year it’s been! A year of discoveries, triumphs and, at times, disappointments. For all of us, this time of year is marked by a mixture of emotions. We are so proud of how much children have grown and excited for their next steps, but also wistful and a bit sad to say goodbye. Though we adults expect these emotions, many children are managing this transition away from this school year for the first time. As this school year winds down, we are tasked with helping children understand that this school year is coming to an end and get them ready for what is coming next.
Many children won’t really understand this change until it happens. We have tools that we use to help children conceptualize the length of the summer. Seeing so many red dots in a row on a calendar can really help some children understand that they’ll have many days of summer before a new school year begins. But some will inevitably get up the next day and start preparing their backpack. Until they experience it, it won’t truly make sense to many of them.
Teachers will have talks with children about how, even for those returning to Park West next year, no one will be in the same room with all of the same children and teachers again. It is indeed an ending. We like to give children space to feel whatever it is they’re feeling (for some sadness, for others excitement or joy) without beleaguering it too much. The emotions around these transitions are nuanced for most of us. The rituals we establish around this transition help to make them more explicit and to mark the process as significant. At school, some of these rituals might include reviewing old calendars, revisiting past activities and washing toys to put them into storage. Each class will have a goodbye on the last day and teachers will be present at dismissal for individual goodbyes.
After we’ve shared our end of the year rituals, the impulse for many of us adults is to start thinking about next fall, but children need help just acclimating to summertime. Many report that they will go on trips or to the beach, but they often don’t know when these things will happen or what they will look like until they get there. For many children, having a calendar like the ones we create at school can help children to anticipate what will happen in their lives. Knowing how many days until you head to the lake house can help children, who have little control over what happens in their lives, know what to expect.
Often, our lives have less structure in the summer. While having the time and space to linger over breakfast or extend playtimes at home can be nice, most children thrive on routines. Maintaining your school year routines or establishing new ones for the summer can help children know what to expect and develop some independence. For those who need help understanding new routines, it can help to have a picture schedule or other chart that children can use to visualize their day. Some may need reassurance that even though some things are changing, others will stay the same. Being explicit about what will stay the same and what will change can help. No, we won’t go to school today, but we will still get dressed and eat breakfast. We will still eat lunch, you’ll still have your naptime.
Then, when the time to return to school comes closer, help them to anticipate when that will start and what it might look like. A calendar marking how many days until school starts can help them anticipate this beginning. When deciding just when to introduce such a calendar, consider the needs of your child. Some need a lot of time to process a change, while introducing the idea of a change too early might provoke anxiety in others.
Talking about things that are the same and different can also help children conceptualize the next year. They might be in a different room at Park West with new teachers, or they might be in a completely different school. If they’re coming back here, they’ll still walk in the front door, but they might be going upstairs to a new classroom. They’ll still have a cubby, but it probably won’t be the same one. Even in a new school, some things will be the same. There will be teachers and kids, there will be a place for their things, there will be tools for drawing and writing, there will be books, there will be a bathroom. If it’s a new school, taking a walk or drive past the building can help to build some familiarity.
Kids often need to be reminded that they are up to the task. A big change like a new classroom or school can feel daunting, but kids really do have the ability to manage this change. There was once a time that they’d never been to school at all. They may not have even known the names of their now beloved teachers. But they got to know this place and all of the people in it and even built confidence around school routines. Now they will do it in a new classroom and you will be there to help them through it.
These are big changes in the lives of children, but luckily, they have you to help them. They’re up to the challenge and so are you! If you have any questions or worries over the summer, we will be here in the office most days and would love to connect with you.