Among many of the exciting developments during the preschool years is transitioning from diapers to using the toilet. Children are typically ready to start learning about the toilet between the ages of 2 ½ and 4. However, each child develops at his own rate and variation is to be expected. In order to successfully make this transition, a child must be ready physically, cognitively and emotionally. Understanding the signs of readiness will help make this process easier for both you and your child.
A certain level of physical development must be in place for toileting. A toddler’s bladder must be able to store urine and then signal the brain to empty it. The child must then begin to recognize and interpret the urge to urinate. Similarly, the child must also be able to control the sphincter muscles and recognize the urge to defecate. In addition, a child must have the ability to get themselves to the toilet, pull their pants down and sit comfortably on the toilet. This process will proceed more smoothly if your child is healthy. If they have been ill or show signs of constipation or diarrhea, it is not a good time to start toileting. Some general signs of physical readiness include:
Stays dry for 2 or more hours during the daytime
Shows signs that they need to urinate, such as dancing in place, holding genitals or verbalizing
Shows signs that they are about to defecate, such as hiding, squatting, grunting or verbalizing
Disliking the feeling of dirty or wet diapers
Able to pull own pants and underwear up and down easily
Children must also be cognitively ready for toilet learning. They should understand basic terms related to using the bathroom such as wet, dry, clean, wash, sit and stand as well as the terms you choose to use for toileting functions (poop, pee, etc) and body parts. They should also be able to communicate their own needs and follow simple, one-step directions.
Even though children may show signs of physical and cognitive readiness, they may not be ready emotionally. When children begin to delight in their abilities and insist on doing things for themselves, it is a sign of readiness for toilet learning. This desire for independence and increasing sense of competence is a key motivator. Social awareness can also inspire interest in the bathroom habits of parents, siblings and peers. As children develop the desire to imitate the behaviors of others, they often begin to show curiosity about their bathroom habits. This interest is another cue that a child may be ready to begin using the toilet.
If you’re thinking about starting this process, consider whether your child is showing the signs of readiness listed above. Also consider the situation at home. If you are anticipating big life changes like a move or the birth of a sibling, it may be best to postpone potty training. There are a few additional cues that indicate you should wait. If your child shows no interest in the toileting habits of parents and siblings, it’s not likely that they will show interest in their own. If they avoid or resist talking about the potty, they’re telling you that they’re not emotionally ready. It’s usually best to capitalize on a child’s own interests rather than trying to force or coerce them into it, which may result in power struggles and setbacks.
Once you get started, keep in mind that it typically takes a great deal of time and practice. Setbacks and accidents are common and to be expected. If they occur, reassure your child and encourage them to keep trying. Keep in mind that even a child who has few accidents during the day can’t control nighttime wetting and some children continue to need diapers at bedtime long after they’ve given them up during the day.
Last but not least, make sure you let your child’s teachers know once you get started so that they can support your child’s toileting efforts at school. Accidents at school are common occurrences and teachers are happy to help children change when the need arises. Experiencing the feeling of wetness after an accident can actually help some kids make sense of their bodily functions and sensations. We look forward to supporting you and your child in this endeavor!
Katrina Nousaine , Park West Co-Op Preschool Teacher, contributed to this post.