One way we can help children become good problem solvers is to let them take on everyday dilemmas. At school we do this by, for instance, helping children talk over a dispute or giving them space to figure out how to use the tape to hang something. Offering real world practice to solve problems they’re interested in gives them the chance to strategize, helps them develop resiliency, and encourages them to persist when faced with difficulties.
Young children need time to think through a problem, test their hypotheses (can somebody say “early science skills”), even run into obstacles, and then reconfigure the solution. Within the pace of family life there isn’t always time or space to allow a child to come up with their own solution, and some things adults just have to decide. That’s why it’s so important to find the moments when you can allow your child to struggle with a dilemma without stepping in to solve it right away. (Make sure that your challenge comes at a time when your child is not tired, upset or stressed in other ways.)
Instead of locating their lost shoe, you can turn it back to them. Ask, what happened? What could you do? What have you tried?
Try asking probing questions to help frame a problem. “What do we need to set the table for dinner?” If they need more help, try breaking the problem into parts. “How many people are going to eat?” Offer more information to help clarify. “We’re having soup, so we will need a bowl for each person.”
Engage their curiosity by bringing them into your own decisions. “I need to find a place near the door to keep the dog’s leash.”
Sometimes the solution is to ask someone else for help, and children can learn that a peer can be a valuable resource. They should also know that the adults will help them, but it’s a fine line between helping and doing. When we guide kids to come up with solutions, we are letting them know that we have confidence in their ability to work out problems.
Katrina Nousaine & Anita Speck, Park West Co-Op Preschool Teachers, contributed to this post